The Subtle Beauty of Child Development: What is Lost When We Push Too Hard

There is has been a lot of talk in the media lately about rigorous, academic preschools meant to ensure a child’s future academic (if not career) success.

First, there was the story of the woman in New York who sued a preschool when she felt it did not adequately prepare her daughter for a high-stakes intelligence test required to enter a competitive private school. She claimed the preschool was not a school, but simply a big “playroom.”

Then there was the article in the New York Times about Kumon and other tutoring companies catering to younger clientele (as young as 2). This prompted what I felt was a very thoughtful piece by Ellen Galinsky who offered a more middle-of-the-road approach to young children’s education. She aptly points out that while children do learn skills from the Kumon-style approach, the key component is not so much the flashcards and puzzles, but the presence of an engaged adult who is eager to teach and learn. In the case of Kumon, this adult happens to be a “teacher” rather than a parent.

Do parents feel inadequate to be a teacher/guide/observer with their child? Or are they simply too busy to take on this role and find it easier to hand it over to the tutoring businesses?

The Subtle Beauty of Child Development: What is Lost When We Push Too Hard
This post contains affiliate links. Purchasing through these links helps support
this blog at no added cost to you.

Here’s what we know from a research perspective: play is crucial to preschool-aged children. The playground is the “testing ground” for not only the academic skills they will need later but perhaps, more importantly, the social skills they will need to succeed in school and in life. 

Learning to "Play Nice"

More and more research is showing how children who lack social skills often fail to thrive in school, even though they are academically capable because the social aspect is so important. Why is this?

Because interaction with peers is one of the ways children learn not only learn how to “play nice” but it is how they learn to control their own emotions and behavior. This self-control, in turn, is one of the best predictors of academic and career success. In fact, some studies have shown that training in social and emotional skills is as beneficial as academic training in helping students who are struggling in school.

Furthermore, developmental scientists will tell you that young children learn concepts of math, sciences, and language better in a play-based setting than a “drill-and-kill” rote learning setting offered by many “academic” preschools, due in large part to the social interaction that is involved in play-based learning.

Want to learn about other common child development myths? Download this free cheat sheet--5 Common Child Development Myths...Debunked. It addresses parenting issues like attachment, spoiling, playtime, and more.

Why the Rush to Academics?

Beyond the research, however, is the question of why? Why do many parents feel the need or pressure to enroll their young children in such academically rigorous preschools? Although a lack of understanding of child development may be part of the issue, I think other factors must be at play.

One issue may be the recent economic decline. Has the economic downturn of recent years made parents so fearful of their children’s career future that they are resorting to academic preschools out of fear? This may be part of the motivation for many parents.

Additionally, I do feel that we have lost some understanding of subtlety in this country. By that, I mean that there seems to be an emphasis on direct results, black-and-white answers, etc. The interesting thing about child development is that it is subtle in so many ways. If you watch a child carefully over the course of many months (if not years) you will see them gradually learn concepts, language, ideas, but you have to watch closely. You will not see quick results overnight with most aspects of child development.

I think this is why play-based preschools are not as attractive to many parents, especially those parents that are the results-oriented, pressure-driven type. Over the course of time, a child will learn about concepts of volume, fractions, and density while playing with water and sand on the playground. This type of learning, however, is much more subtle than a child being able to recite some flashcards that they reviewed for a week straight.

The Subtle Beauty of Child Development: What is Lost When We Push Too Hard

A child in a play-based preschool may not be able to tell you straight out that 2 + 2 = 4, but I imagine if you asked them to pick up 4 balls, they would know what to do. I admit that seeing a child recite answers to questions that you’ve reviewed with them is somewhat gratifying to us as adults but is the other, more subtle type of learning any less valuable?

Although my son is only 2 years old, I have already seen evidence of this difference in learning. Lately, I’ve been working with him on learning colors. I’ll point out things at the store and name their color or mention the colors of animals, etc. Now, if I straight out ask him what color an object is, he will inevitably get it wrong. However, if he wants an object and is pointing to it and asking for it, he will almost always call it the correct color (“blue one”).

There is something to be said for a child’s intrinsic motivation to learn what is important to them, not necessarily what’s important to us.

Related Resources:

Learn with Play

Hands On As We Grow

150+ Screen-Free Activities

The Most Important Year

Perfect for Pinning:

The Subtle Beauty of Child Development: What is Lost When We Push Too Hard


janetlansbury said...

Amy, thank you for this post! It is beautifully stated and so important to understand. Intrinsically motivated learning is far MORE valuable because it penetrates deeply. And children like your son are not just learning facts, they are learning how to learn, an ability that will serve him well for a lifetime. My children were trusted to be self-learners in their preschool years and all 3 of them are stand-out students, especially because they are comparatively un-stressed (and the oldest is going to Stanford in the fall...woot!). Learning comes naturally and easily to them. Hopefully there will soon be studies to prove the enormous value of "subtle" development so that every child can benefit from being trusted to self-direct learning in the early years.

cat said...

Really liked this article. Struck a chord with me as my 2 children both go to a play based preschool and I definitely notice a difference between them and children from a more education orientated playschool, though their emotional intelligence seems much more advanced. Thanks for the read.

kids iPhone game said...

Child development of kids is extremely important for the future of kids. So parents must know about all stages of child development and keep the situation under control all the time. Reading articles like this one parents can gain a lot of helpful information and tips on development of children.

Wmh Adword said...

I'm so happy with your blog site, it contains all the matter with regards to playschool and preschool Good luck to you and your well performed job. Thanks for keeping us updated with the latest information for playschool and preschool.
Preschool in Bangalore,
Playschool in Bangalore