In recent months I’ve begun to get more offers to review products/books on this blog. At first I was hesitant to do this, but I have decided that I will review products occasionally as long as they relate directly to child development topics.
So, with that said, one of the first products I was asked to review was The Total Transformation Program developed by James Lehman, MSW. Lehman is a licensed social worker and has worked in private practice for many years focusing mostly on children with behavior problems. The Total Transformation Program is a set of several audio CDs for parents. The program also has a toll-free telephone advice line for parents using the program. I was sent a abridged version of the program to review since the complete program is too lengthy for a busy mom/blogger like myself.
Before I begin, I should mention that my background is in Human Development and Family Sciences, not Social Work. Social Work is a much more hands-on, deal-with-families-everyday kind of field than the research-oriented field I come from; hence, my review comes from a somewhat different perspective. I felt the program was most appropriate for late elementary-adolescent age children (Mr. Lehman refers to adolescents quite a bit). Based on the types of techniques and language he suggests parents use, I do not feel it would be appropriate for parents of younger children.
One of the things I appreciated about the CDs was their practical approach. Mr. Lehman has a very no-nonsense style that I found very refreshing and I think many parents would probably find it helpful. He focuses primarily on practical skills and techniques that parents can use to deal with children with behavior problems. When he refers to behavior problems, he is generally talking about disrespectful, abusive, or destructive behavior in children.
One of the main goals of the program is to help parents re-gain authority over their children. According to Mr. Lehman this is one of the first things that often goes by the wayside with children who are disrespectful and misbehaved. He offers parents some very specific strategies for ending negotiations and pleading with their adolescent children but just simply focusing on their compliance. Mr. Lehman emphasizes the need for parents to not accept any excuses from their children and to follow through on expectations. I really appreciated this approach and felt it was appropriate for adolescent children to have such limits and expectations.
Another aspect of the program I appreciated was Mr. Lehman’s goal of helping parents focus on their children’s behavior, not so much on their attitude. As he explains, many of us as adults have feelings/attitudes about our job, our chores, etc. that may not be all that positive, yet we know we have responsibilities to our employer or others so we continue on with our duties. I think this is a wonderful lesson to model for children. A big part of growing into adulthood is learning to manage your emotions and have enough self-control to do what is required of you, even if you do not feel like it at the moment. I was glad to hear that Mr. Lehman emphasized this point.
Self-esteem is another topic that The Total Transformation Program addresses. In popular culture, many people understand self-esteem to just mean that you feel good about yourself because someone (usually parents) tell you how great you are or what a wonderful job you’ve done on a task. I was happy to hear that Mr. Lehman goes beyond this superficial understand of self-esteem. He wisely explains that self-esteem develops when an individual takes on a challenging task and is able to complete it. If children avoid challenging tasks or are praised all the time, true self-esteem does not develop. Mr. Lehman goes on to explain further the role of self-esteem among children with behavior problems.
Overall I felt The Total Transformation Program would be helpful for many parents trying to develop more effective strategies for dealing with difficult children. Given my bias towards research, I wanted to understand more of the “why” behind the behavior problems. I kept asking myself “why do children get to the point of acting out this way in adolescence” or “how did these problems develop?” Although the program addresses some of these questions, I still felt like it did not get to the core of early parent-child interactions that may have set up this scenario. However, I realize that these issues are really outside the scope of the goal of these audio CDs. The goal is to give parents some hands-on techniques to help address their child’s behavior. If you have a child with severe, on-going behavioral problems you may need to seek out further help from a family therapist who can work with you personally. Otherwise, if you need some strategies to help you and your child get back “on track” The Total Transformation Program is worth checking out.
